"Loss of a Loved One"
Printed July 14, 2010 Cass Lake Times
"Loss of a Loved One"
By Allan Olson
I lost my Grandmother recently. A woman loved by all, she was the last of her siblings and was a mere 88 years young. She left behind a legacy of love and a large family of five kids, 13 grandkids and 20 great-grand kids. She was preceded in death by her husband of 52 years, several siblings and in-laws, two children along with one little great granddaughter called home too soon as an infant.
She was someone who would feed us until we couldn't eat anymore and then try to stuff us with more. "Come on eat up," she would say. As a young child I remember waking up to the sound of her and grandpa chatting, the radio on to the local Roseau AM station and the sound of a pan being pulled out of the cupboard for hot cereal. Every morning was either hot cereal - usually Co Co Wheat - or other morning’s cold cereal choices of Cheerios, Rice Krispies and a few others like, Mini-Wheat, Shredded Wheat or Corn Flakes. Every morning there was the additional treat of her delicious caramel rolls (which I've made from her recipe many times). The rolls were always so good you couldn't leave them alone and for some crazy reason there were always bananas. No matter how many times you informed her that you didn't like bananas there was always one placed on the table.
Some of my favorite memories are lying in bed listening to Grandpa give Grandma a hard time. Grandpa always had something clever to say and when you looked him in the eye you could see the twinkle as bright as a star.
The noon meal was usually one fit to feed an army. When I was younger, Grandpa and his brother John would come in from the fields for lunch and it was always an interesting conversation mostly centered on topics like farming, which I knew little of. In the afternoon a trip to town was usually in order. Sometimes, especially in the non-farming years, dinner would be at the local diner or at DQ. Other trips would be just a trip to the grocery store, maybe the local box store and usually an ice cream treat from some store. The evening meal was again usually a large spread because you never knew who might be coming over, and there was no way that they would be caught without enough food to feed whomever might drop by. The remainders of the evenings were spent playing games and right before bedtime was a hearty dish of ice cream and usually a cookie or two or more.
Another favorite aspect of going to Grandma and Grandpa's was a favorite of most kids - cartoons. While growing up in the rural area of Lake of the Woods we got only three, sometimes four, TV channels. I know that this is hard to fathom for most kids today, but we could only watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and then only until noon if our "mean" parents didn't kick us out of the house to work or something horrible like that.
While my grandparents lived in rural Roseau County they got a channel that we didn't - FOX. What a thrill, we could watch cartoons every morning and they were shows that we didn't even get to watch on Saturday's. Man that was a treat.
A thrill to four young boy's who didn't get to see Grandma that often, at least not compared to those who lived closer, was when she came up by herself on a surprise visit. This, at least by my memories, seemed to happen most often during harvest or planting times when the days in the field for Grandpa were long and Grandma got the traveling itch. For us boys this could mean a lot of things. A gift, a trip to town for dinner and usually several games of Superman - a traditional marble/dice game for our family going on four generations.
Fast forward several years showed Grandma and Grandpa at my high school graduation - a small affair but meaningful that they showed up. It may not have meant as much to me at that time as it has recently when I located my picture with them on my big day. A few more years flew by and Grandpa was gone and Grandma continued the trend of coming to important events like my siblings’ graduation and our weddings. She even made a point of coming to my girlfriend's (now wife) high school graduation. A year later she was at our wedding and then later my college graduation.
The time flies by - she ages and I have four kids. While I didn't get to visit Grandma as often as she would've liked the visits, I had sharing her with my kids by just sitting back and watching them interact with each other. The priority of the visit was not for me but rather for her to see my kids and she would often smile watching them play. I distinctly remember some knick knacks well within reach for most of youth and my cousins that we weren't supposed to play with. Trying to enforce that rule with my kids was squashed by their Great-Grandma who said something to the effect of they can play with those if they want. I just shake my head and listen to Grandma.
In recent years I've used my ample driving time to call her almost weekly. The conversations, while plenty over the last couple of years, where sometimes strained and frustrated either due to poor hearing, bad connection or just a bad day for her memory. I also knew that she loved my calls and hearing about my children's antics. I explained to her in a recent conversation that my daughter Abigail was just so stubborn it was frustrating. She just explained to me that it sounded like my mom; I was thinking a lot like my Grandma as well.
Recently after evening services my Aunt gathered us cousins together at the farm where Grandma lived and gave us a chance to remember her more with just one adjective. With 11 of us present we went around the room three times and came up with 33 different adjectives to fit this great woman. Any one of those words fit her to a "t" but what's perhaps even more important is not her desire to be known through words but through the actions of those left behind.
Thankfully I was able to visit with her a week before she unexpectedly passed away and once again the visit wasn't centered about me it was focused on her seeing my children. She enjoyed watching them chase her puppy around and the way they role-played with each other, especially my younger three.
The timing wasn't right, but then like most people would attest to the timing is never right for a loved one to die. It was a hard thing to swallow after getting the news; I would love to have another opportunity to visit with her and watch her with my kids.
While my kids will not likely have memories of her other than photos and our words, they carry a piece of her in their heart as her love, generosity, kindness touched everyone she knew.
"Loss of a Loved One"
By Allan Olson
I lost my Grandmother recently. A woman loved by all, she was the last of her siblings and was a mere 88 years young. She left behind a legacy of love and a large family of five kids, 13 grandkids and 20 great-grand kids. She was preceded in death by her husband of 52 years, several siblings and in-laws, two children along with one little great granddaughter called home too soon as an infant.
She was someone who would feed us until we couldn't eat anymore and then try to stuff us with more. "Come on eat up," she would say. As a young child I remember waking up to the sound of her and grandpa chatting, the radio on to the local Roseau AM station and the sound of a pan being pulled out of the cupboard for hot cereal. Every morning was either hot cereal - usually Co Co Wheat - or other morning’s cold cereal choices of Cheerios, Rice Krispies and a few others like, Mini-Wheat, Shredded Wheat or Corn Flakes. Every morning there was the additional treat of her delicious caramel rolls (which I've made from her recipe many times). The rolls were always so good you couldn't leave them alone and for some crazy reason there were always bananas. No matter how many times you informed her that you didn't like bananas there was always one placed on the table.
Some of my favorite memories are lying in bed listening to Grandpa give Grandma a hard time. Grandpa always had something clever to say and when you looked him in the eye you could see the twinkle as bright as a star.
The noon meal was usually one fit to feed an army. When I was younger, Grandpa and his brother John would come in from the fields for lunch and it was always an interesting conversation mostly centered on topics like farming, which I knew little of. In the afternoon a trip to town was usually in order. Sometimes, especially in the non-farming years, dinner would be at the local diner or at DQ. Other trips would be just a trip to the grocery store, maybe the local box store and usually an ice cream treat from some store. The evening meal was again usually a large spread because you never knew who might be coming over, and there was no way that they would be caught without enough food to feed whomever might drop by. The remainders of the evenings were spent playing games and right before bedtime was a hearty dish of ice cream and usually a cookie or two or more.
Another favorite aspect of going to Grandma and Grandpa's was a favorite of most kids - cartoons. While growing up in the rural area of Lake of the Woods we got only three, sometimes four, TV channels. I know that this is hard to fathom for most kids today, but we could only watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and then only until noon if our "mean" parents didn't kick us out of the house to work or something horrible like that.
While my grandparents lived in rural Roseau County they got a channel that we didn't - FOX. What a thrill, we could watch cartoons every morning and they were shows that we didn't even get to watch on Saturday's. Man that was a treat.
A thrill to four young boy's who didn't get to see Grandma that often, at least not compared to those who lived closer, was when she came up by herself on a surprise visit. This, at least by my memories, seemed to happen most often during harvest or planting times when the days in the field for Grandpa were long and Grandma got the traveling itch. For us boys this could mean a lot of things. A gift, a trip to town for dinner and usually several games of Superman - a traditional marble/dice game for our family going on four generations.
Fast forward several years showed Grandma and Grandpa at my high school graduation - a small affair but meaningful that they showed up. It may not have meant as much to me at that time as it has recently when I located my picture with them on my big day. A few more years flew by and Grandpa was gone and Grandma continued the trend of coming to important events like my siblings’ graduation and our weddings. She even made a point of coming to my girlfriend's (now wife) high school graduation. A year later she was at our wedding and then later my college graduation.
The time flies by - she ages and I have four kids. While I didn't get to visit Grandma as often as she would've liked the visits, I had sharing her with my kids by just sitting back and watching them interact with each other. The priority of the visit was not for me but rather for her to see my kids and she would often smile watching them play. I distinctly remember some knick knacks well within reach for most of youth and my cousins that we weren't supposed to play with. Trying to enforce that rule with my kids was squashed by their Great-Grandma who said something to the effect of they can play with those if they want. I just shake my head and listen to Grandma.
In recent years I've used my ample driving time to call her almost weekly. The conversations, while plenty over the last couple of years, where sometimes strained and frustrated either due to poor hearing, bad connection or just a bad day for her memory. I also knew that she loved my calls and hearing about my children's antics. I explained to her in a recent conversation that my daughter Abigail was just so stubborn it was frustrating. She just explained to me that it sounded like my mom; I was thinking a lot like my Grandma as well.
Recently after evening services my Aunt gathered us cousins together at the farm where Grandma lived and gave us a chance to remember her more with just one adjective. With 11 of us present we went around the room three times and came up with 33 different adjectives to fit this great woman. Any one of those words fit her to a "t" but what's perhaps even more important is not her desire to be known through words but through the actions of those left behind.
Thankfully I was able to visit with her a week before she unexpectedly passed away and once again the visit wasn't centered about me it was focused on her seeing my children. She enjoyed watching them chase her puppy around and the way they role-played with each other, especially my younger three.
The timing wasn't right, but then like most people would attest to the timing is never right for a loved one to die. It was a hard thing to swallow after getting the news; I would love to have another opportunity to visit with her and watch her with my kids.
While my kids will not likely have memories of her other than photos and our words, they carry a piece of her in their heart as her love, generosity, kindness touched everyone she knew.
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