Saying Goodbye

- Our loyal friend Bob, with a nephew of ours a few years ago.

By Allan Olson

Saying goodbye – sometimes it’s a hard thing to do, especially when it’s the final goodbye. Our family has had to say goodbye before, but this time it was a little different, and it hurt.

For our busy family having a long day is nothing new. Going 10-12 hours or more is not out of the norm at least one day of the week for the whole family, and that’s what we did last Wednesday. Whenever we had a long day like that, no matter what time of the day or night we arrived back at home, we could always count on our faithful companion and loyal friend Bob (our dog) to be waiting by the front door, ready to greet us upon our return. But not that day.

Our furry boy came to us 5-1/2 years ago as a young puppy barely weaned from his momma – the kids all took to him immediately, and he to them. All he wanted was for someone to rub his back or belly or nose, and the kids showered him with love, using him for a pillow or to be their comfort if they had a bad day or their companion on a bike ride or taking him for a run, which Abigail loved to do. This dog didn’t care to be outside unless the kids were out there. He didn’t want to be active unless the kids were. He was perfectly content laying around the house with them, if that’s what they were doing. If we were packing the vehicle for a trip, he wanted to be part of it, to the point where he would either get in the vehicle or lay right beside it, as if saying, “You’re not going to leave without me, are you?”

A little more than a year ago, our friend Bob started having seizures. We brought him to the vet, and he was given meds for them.  On Wednesday night, after another one of those 12 hour days, the kids jumped out of the vehicle at home and opened the door, expecting Bob to be right there ready to go outside and “take care of his business.” But he was not. 

A frantic search of the house ensued, and one of the kids found him in our spare bedroom, convulsing on the floor – clearly the result of a seizure. The crying commenced immediately. I had to yet to make it in the house to see what was happening, but my heart sank to my stomach and I felt sick. I knew without being told that Bob was having another seizure. Nikolai tried to get him to take his meds, but he couldn’t even control his body to do that – he just laid there. I made a call to my wife, and another to the vet, then again to my wife. In the meantime, his poor body was wracked with yet another seizure – the only movement his body was capable of doing was from the convulsions from the seizures. It had been 40 minutes since we got home, he had yet to move off the floor. 

My wife was on her way, but we had made the decision that it was his time to go. We couldn’t let him continue on this way; he wouldn’t want to live like this, and his poor body couldn’t move. The tears flowed in our house. We talked to the kids; they needed to be in on the decision. They knew what had to be done. Bob’s run was over; our love for him was not.

We carried him out to the vehicle. I called the vet once more to let him know that my wife and Nikolai were on their way to his office with the dog. I resigned myself to the remaining task ahead – I had to get prepare a final resting spot. I found a site out back, a location where we know we can all go and pay our respects, and I started digging. I tossed shovel full after shovel full of half-frozen dirt, while wiping away the tears. It was cold, and I went to warm up in the vehicle. I got to the point where I could dig no more because I was fighting the mud. I knew our loyal companion, our friend without judgement, was coming home soon, his suffering finally over.

I went back to the house and told Abigail, Marcus and Alivia to get ready to come out and say goodbye. We carefully placed him in the ground, wrapped in a blanket. Nikolai and I covered him with dirt, while my wife went to get the others – just as they wanted – and then we said our goodbyes.

I took it upon myself to clean up the messes from his seizures – including the one he had just prior to getting to the vet’s office in the vehicle.

We decided that the kids would not be going to school the next day – they needed a mental health day, a day of mourning. I doubt that they would have coped well that day anyway.

I know that I had a hard time sleeping that night, just like a friend said I would, despite going to bed much later than normal.

Abigail cheered herself by looking at photos of our crazy good friend we called Bob – (a.k.a. Simon James Alexander Ragsdale III). The boys did their own thing, spending some time alone, sometimes hanging out with mom. A friend brought her four dogs over, in hopes of providing some cheerful therapy, and I think it probably helped some. Alivia spent the day with me, doing my stuff – and had me in tears half the day, just by looking at her heart-broken little face.

By evening, we were all doing better. It will take us some time to adjust to life after Bob, and I’m not sure where the future lies for us in terms of getting a new dog, but I know it will be hard if not impossible to find another dog as good as Bob.

Our memories of him will live on for years. We can look back at all the photos of him doing everything with us, from camping to geocaching to swimming at our favorite little beach.

So for this Thanksgiving week, I can say that I am thankful that this lovable furry friend came into our lives 5.5 years ago, and I am sad that we had to say goodbye to him so much sooner than we ever dreamed. Still, I’m thankful that my kids and we as parents were able to share his life.

So for all you dog owners out there, give your pet an extra hug from my kids this week – I’m sure they will appreciate it.

And goodbye, Bob; thanks for being our friend.

Over the weekend, Nikolai and I went hunting one more time on Saturday, while the rest of the kids stayed in the house to hang out with grandma.

Please remember to watch out for the buses that will be carrying our most precious cargo. Also, snap a photo or two to preserve a lifetime of memories. Thanks for reading, and have a great week! Feel free to drop me a line at cltimes1@arvig.net or stop by the office for a visit.