A Family Gathering

My family - The 13 of us grandchildren of my grandparents - all took the opportunity to have a group photo of us for the first time in 20 years after attending the funeral of my uncle.

A Family Gathering

By Allan Olson

So what is a family? One definition of a family according to the dictionary is: any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.

My immediate family consists of my wife and kids, parents and siblings – however my extended family reaches out a lot further than that. Since I’m married – my wife’s family is also part of my family and then my parent’s siblings children are also part of my family.

Recently a member of my extended family – my mother’s brother passed away. While his health hadn’t been the greatest in years it was still a surprise to get a message from my mother that her baby brother had died. Those that he left behind included his three kids – my cousins who when we were younger all played together. Now we’ve all moved on and started our own life and contact with them has been minimal over the last 20 years. Thankfully – perhaps knowing his time was near or just by chance he took a spur of the moment road trip to visit his three kids less than three weeks before his passing. They took the time to visit the casinos in Las Vegas and many other fun activities – and he even tried golfing for the first time. Something according to his son at the funeral –as a farmer, he viewed those greens as valuable farmland.

So on Wednesday, Feb., 25 instead of being in Cass Lake at work – where I had planned to attend a couple meetings we hit the road for the big town of Roseau instead. We left home at 9 a.m. and after picking up my father and my brother and sister in-law arrived in Roseau around 1 p.m. at my grandparents farm – where my mother’s sister and her husband now make their home. The place where for all of my life and probably all my mother’s life the family gatherings, for after funerals, weddings, reunions have taken place. The place where I spent many summer days hanging out with my grandparents, getting spoiled and playing with cousins. The house was full when we arrived – the sisters of my uncle, some cousins and other family.

When we walked in the door, the phone was ringing – my aunt said, “someone answer that” – I was the closest so I did – instantly I flashed back to my childhood/young adult days going to get the phone for my grandma so whomever was calling wouldn’t hang up before she could get to it – it was an odd feeling to have this sense of deja –vu.

The services were in the same church where his parents services were held, his two siblings one at a very young age and one in his early 20’s, in addition, many uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins, a great-niece and likely a few friends services were held. The small rural church was filled to the brim – with family, friends, farming partners, wrestling students and so many more. The 21 – gun salute was held in the front of the church just outside the entrance with loved ones gathering together shivering in the cool winter air and brisk wind. The family followed the hearse to behind the church where my uncle was permanently laid to rest – many years too soon – but then when a loved one passes it always seems like it was too soon, no matter the age, it was too soon, we are never ready.

I can’t claim that I was close to my uncle, but I would lie if I said I didn’t shed a few tears, thinking about the times I did engage with conversation with him. Thinking how much he looked like his father, my grandfather, and his similar gift of storytelling and an almost similar twinkle in his eye when he was spinning a yarn.

After the funeral my wife and a cousin were discussing how many of the first cousins where at the funeral and they came to the realization that all of us were together for the first time in 20 years.

With that realization we quickly decided that we needed a photo –even though we needed to take one at the front of the church by all the memorial flowers, a place where our uncle/my cousins father was laying in the casket less than 30 minutes before. It took a little work to round up everyone but we accomplished the task.

After the service we gathered back at my aunts for a memorial celebration – we laughed and visited and enjoyed some food but the hours were quickly fading and we had kids to get home and work the next morning –we said goodbye to the family, shared a couple more laughs and ventured home. We made it home shortly after 11 p.m. – 14 hours after we left.

I’m glad that all 13 of us were together for the first time in 20 years, I just wish it wasn’t a funeral that brought us together and hopefully somehow we can all get together again and not at a funeral.

Rest in peace Uncle.  

On a lighter note – Saturday was a road trip day as we traveled to Thief River Falls to cheer on the Panthers – unfortunately they didn’t defeat the opponent and the boys’ basketball season came to a close. Sunday – was laundry day and a lazy day.

This weekend – is going to be busy with Kid’s perch jerk on Saturday and my brother and family visiting over the weekend also – should be a fun time.

Thanks to everyone for reading, and as always, please be safe while enjoying your favorite outdoor recreational activity and on the lakes, and remember to take pictures to preserve a lifetime of memories. Remember to drive safely, and watch out for those buses carrying our children. Thanks for reading, and have a great week! For more of my columns visit: http://allan-crazykids.blogspot.com.