Our New Friend!

Our New Friend

By Allan Olson

We purchased a new friend a couple weeks ago. This little friend is only about four inches wide and tall, is black and has a touchscreen. With that, hopefully you realized that we didn’t actually buy a “friend,” but rather a useful instrument that we hope will continue to be our friend for a very long time.

Let me introduce you to him by name: Mr. Lee Garmin. We finally got of the stone ages of using a map; for crying out loud, even my own mother has had a GPS for a couple of years now. I know, some of you are probably scratching your head trying to remember what exactly is this thing you call a map? Some of you might recall that antiquated thing that got crinkled and crammed in the glove box, then usually was lost just before you went on a trip, so you had to go buy a new one at a gas station.

Using a map for navigation while driving solo is difficult, especially if you’re driving while trying to look at it, and when it’s unfolded by the front seat passenger, it often obstructs the view out their window and the windshield.

I remember our first trip to a big city to the east. We got a “tourist” map in advance, with points of interest and how to get there. It served its purpose, and we got our money’s worth out of it (it was free), but it, too, went the way of many maps – lost or ruined.

On our vacation last summer we had to have a couple of extra maps because the kids felt that they needed to know how to get there (no, they really can’t read a map, but they felt important).

On that same vacation, out in the middle of the BWCA near Ely, we used my brother’s GPS on his phone. This was my first experience with one, and I was not impressed. The dumb phone kept telling us to turn onto roads that didn’t exist. We were driving on a narrow, two-lane road, and there was no place to turn. Thankfully, I had a map.

The next time I used a GPS was on our recent trip to the metro. My sister-in-law had lent us hers (I’m starting to think I’m falling behind on technology). It was great! It told us where to go – nicely – although I expected it to start yelling at me when I screwed up and didn’t listen to its instructions.

I’ll be honest. I was skeptical, so I printed out the online directions before we left just to be safe.

The nice voice kindly let us to our destination (the mall) and back home. The only time it didn’t lead us to the correct place was when a store had moved and nobody notified Mr. Lee Garmin.

That experience inspired us to purchase our new friend during our shopping excursion two weeks ago, so we wouldn’t need to borrow a GPS from anyone anymore.

On Saturday evening, after getting Abigail’s ears pierced, (another future topic) and after a few trips using this new device around the city, even Abigail was amused when it announced the name of the residence we were staying at. (Of course, that was programmed into it by mom, but Abigail didn’t know that).

Prior to that evening, we used him (I know I shouldn’t personalize a machine) to get us from the mall to the Train Depot. It worked perfectly except for one time – we were there and it told us to turn away from it. Since we had been there two years ago, we were confused. Later we found that it was taking us to the building, but no parking was allowed in front of that. In consultation with my cousin, we found out there was a “P” which would’ve taken us to the underground parking garage near the depot. Of course, we figured that out without the aid of our friend.

After our excursion, we volunteered to purchase some take-n-bake pizza for the hungry masses. My wife punched in our destination, and away we went – to another state.

Puzzled? Yes, we were too, since it directed us to Wisconsin to get the pizza. No, we can’t blame it on the GPS. It was operator error (see, I’m blaming my wife). Computers only do what they are programmed or told to do. It was told to take us to the pizza place, so it did. It wasn’t told to take us to the pizza place nearest our cousin’s house (less than a mile from where they live).

We enjoyed the trip to Wisconsin across the long bridge over Lake Superior, and all but Marcus (he went with my cousin) got a decent look at a very large ship, and a nice nap as well.

That, of course, became the joke of the weekend; we had to leave the state to buy pizza.

The following day we again volunteered to get dinner and yes, we learned our lesson. This time we punched in the destination closest to where we were staying.

On Monday morning, I took the kids to school (no GPS necessary) and veered off course toward Pike Bay once we arrived in town, since I’m always looking for an early morning photo opportunity and we had a few minutes to burn. I thought it was a good idea.

Abigail and Marcus were concerned. “Where are we going?” they asked, apparently concerned about getting lost. Nikolai just ignored them, since he wasn’t even a little concerned. They wanted to go to school. Where was dad taking them?

Further discussion: they thought I needed a GPS to get them there, because I detoured off course. “A GPS doesn’t know where our school is,” Abigail said. “Only moms and dads know where the school is,” Marcus said.

Maybe I should give them a map of Cass Lake?

Thanks for reading, and have a great week. Remember – take a kid fishing, and watch out for school buses on the road. For more of my columns visit: http://allan-crazykids.blogspot.com.